If you can and have the means, I highly recommend donating to Family Meal, a Portland-based nonprofit designed to help food service and agricultural workers during a medical debt crisis. Your help right now is needed more than ever. Thank you.
Happy Thursday! How’re you? I’ve been okay, in a different headspace than I have been in a while. Today I’ve actually gotten up and am writing this as of Thursday morning, which is rare, because I usually have topics in mind and then write them out throughout the week (the writing never stops!). But today when I was going over the drafts of things I could have put out today, nothing seemed quite right for *today*… weird, right?
SO I thought I would kick it old-school and write a “coffee thoughts” post, since it has been two years since I wrote one. The main thread of these are that I have a coffee with me, today’s black coffee with some 1% milk, no sweetener. So sit tight, and here’s some things that have been on my mind as I sip on coffee and munch on some apples with peanut butter:
I don’t really know what’s really come over me until I was reading the description of a kickstarter campaign that seemed interesting, and the starter wrote something along the lines of, “I knew that I wasn’t remotely good at the things I was making, but I had so much fun making them it was okay that I wasn’t immediately profitable or successful. I know with everything I make I put so much love into that everything I learn from the process makes it worth it.” And for some reason, that was really profound to me.
With the mentality that I’ve always approached this blog, I constantly was thinking of how to make it polished, niche, grow an audience, and more… to come to the epiphany that maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to make all my writing something to potentially make a profit from, to use as a portfolio piece. That I can just keep doing what I do best in my small spot on the Internet.
Although it doesn’t seem profound on any level, as a person who has been learning to not make everything “serious” and just let things be, it really makes a difference. A side effect of perfectionism and craving for success – but I think for the people who do follow me, the fact that they’ve stuck around (like you!) is already proof enough I’m good enough. Yes, I’ll be back to normal food or relationship-related postings by next week but for now, I’m enjoying the expanse that is “undefined” for this post.
Oh, another (semi-related) thread to this feeling of “relaxing” or remaining “undefined”: I met someone and I feel a whole new person. (Yes, this is relationship related LOL)
Perhaps it’s that I don’t think I’ve quite felt at my best while seeing someone that it’s a bit unnerving to not feel as deterred about being “undefined” with this person as I historically would be. When I get worried I have all these doubts, but then I see them and I chide myself for even being concerned in the first place. It’s pleasant, to be in their company, and entirely much too unnerving that it feels as natural as being reunited with an old friend: a mixture of familiarity but also spots of unknowing.
As a jaded, cynical anti-romantic I’m annoyed but still intrigued that something like this could come along at a time when I wasn’t expecting it at all, wasn’t doing anything to be remotely in its trajectory… yet they walked into my home and I can only wish they’ll choose to stick around.
I was hesitant to admit all that, but in retrospect I say a lot on this blog – too much, perhaps. If you’re an avid reader you could definitely say this reads a bit like a diary at times, since what I mention is quite personal in the grand scheme of information I could divulge online.
But as a person who, as an acquaintance put it, “has a lot of opinions that [I] feel strongly about,” I will potentially put those out there… in time, of course. (And if I get my heart broken along the way, you’ll definitely get a taste or two of the resulting aftermath, don’t worry :))
Hopefully that wasn’t too boring for today. I know I usually load these up with interesting photos and whatnot, but in the vein of just taking it easy, this is just as it is. What did you think of today’s coffee thoughts? Should I do more that’s just stream of consciousness thinking or should I go back to generally food-focused posts? As always, if you do have thoughts I’d love to read them as comments, or you can reach me over Twitter or Instagram.
If you want more of me, today is also when my spring drink specials in Eugene article has come out! I’m planning on doing more content around drinking and alcohol in the near future, so I hope you’ll continue to stick around for that.
Have you eaten yet? If not, don’t forget to!